Sometimes, the only way to move forward is to look back.
There are days when I wonder why I got myself into this mess called medical school. If it's truly worth it to be constantly barraged by tidal waves of information from textbooks, BRS study guides, professors, podcasts, Najeeb lectures, Khan academy videos, and consultations with Drs. Google and Wikipedia. To force myself to stay up until the wee hours of the night highlighting, diagramming, and mumbling incoherently to myself words that I most likely am mispronouncing. To make it to my fourth cup of coffee before 2 pm because I stayed up until 2:30 am the night before trying to understand some esoteric concept.
And then I reread my personal statement from my primary AMCAS application and smile. I'm here because someone on the admissions committee thought that I would be a good fit for the school, for medicine, and for the world of healthcare. I'm here because I thought that I could be a good doctor. That I can be a good doctor. That I will be a great doctor. I'm not here to be rich, to gain notoriety, or to specifically live the lifestyle of a select few. I'm here to learn what I need to know to become a great doctor so I can have a positive impact on others' lives. And really, that's what is important. All of these minor inconveniences will pay off in the end. All of these nervous breakdowns, panic attacks, and angry outbursts at 4 am will be a drop in the bucket of events that help to shape me into a doctor my patients can and will trust. And all I have to do is remember that someone on the admissions committee believed I could be a doctor. Remember that all of the patients I met during preceptor week back home said they would pray for me to make it through school so I could be their doctor. Remember that I told myself I could be a great doctor. Because I will be."